My Marriage Is Perfect…YEAH RIGHT!

IMG_0289As many of you know, Amy & I have the perfect marriage. It has always been rainbows and alive with the light of a million fairies. YEAH RIGHT!

No, the truth is we’ve had a 14+ year marriage that has been all over the map. Figuratively and literally, haha. We have experienced many joys, but we have also experienced (and sometimes created) many heartbreaking, trust eroding, emotion shattering moments as well. In the midst of the highs and lows, we’ve known one thing to be true: God must be the center of our marriage. That sounds like a trite “Christianese” phrase but it is very true. If we don’t allow Him entrance into every part of us individually and as a couple, we will never walk in the freedom and calling He has for us. At least not to its fullest.

As we’ve moved through our journey, there have been pivotal moments that have led us to stop and evaluate our marital and spiritual health. I’m writing today because last night was one of those times. As we got into bed and would have normally turned on a show or movie, I was led to go to the website of a church I like in Nashville. As I began to scroll through past messages, I found this video. Click Here As Amy and I sat and listened for just over an hour, we were strongly impacted by what this message spoke to us. God used it to reveal things to us about ourselves, our marriage, our parenting, people we’ve hurt, people who have hurt us. It was POWERFUL.

I strongly recommend you and your spouse OR perhaps you and your boyfriend/girlfriend watch this video. Take an hour and instead of watching mindless tv or movies, watch something that can impact your life and help you shape your future. There’s no catch here. They are not selling anything and neither am I. It is real, raw, authentic, biblical insight on relationships. I pray you’ll allow it to impact you for the better.

Believing God will be at work in your relationships as He is in ours!

Written by Andrew Pino

Like this post? If so, sign up for the free LiveIntentional newsletter.

Make Her Swoon Over You

dsc_7496_2Why is it that so many women swoon over the guys in romantic movies? Is it their dashingly handsome good looks? Their ability to “rescue” the one they love? Their charming sense of humor? The argument could be made that yes, all of those things draw a woman into the story unfolding on the screen and endear them to the male lead character. However, what seems to be the fundamental component to every well loved leading man, is the amount of focus, time, and energy he puts into his on-screen counterpart. There’s something in the way he looks at her, the things he breaks away from to be with her, the lengths he’ll go to just to make sure she is the center of his attention.

So, why does this make a woman smile, cry, laugh at the movie? Because she wants that kind of relationship.

If we’re honest guys, we often hate those movies because they point out some serious flaws in how we relate to our wives (or girlfriends). So many times we have lost focus on what’s going on in the life of our wife. We’ve invested our energies at work, in sports, or whatever other hobby, instead of giving priority to serving our wife and showing her she matters to us. Even time invested in your kids can start to take precedence over spending quality time with your wife.

Like anything you want to see grow, flourish, etc you have to invest your energy into it. You are one of the key contributors to your wife being happy and feeling loved in life. No, she doesn’t need to be codependent on you, but she will certainly define the quality of your relationship by the amount of time, focus, and energy you invest in it.

If this post is challenging you to stop and think about what you can do to reengage your wife, here are a few tips to get her swooning over you:

  • Ask her how her day was and really listen to the answer.
  • Clean up around the house.
  • Do laundry. Not just washer/dryer, but folding and putting it away too.
  • Take her to dinner. Whatever is in your budget to do. She’s more interested in the time and conversation.
  • Go for a walk together.
  • If you have kids, tell her to go out with her girlfriends and you keep them.
  • Sit on the couch and talk to her, not the sports game on TV.
  • Share your life with her. How work is going, what you’ve been thinking about lately, etc.

Sure, this is no exhaustive list, but it’s a start.

We all want to be the leading man in our life. We want our wife to look at us and think, “yes, I made the best decision marrying him. He genuinely cares about me and for me.” Stepping up and giving your time, energy, and focus to your wife will communicate your love and make it clear that she is your top priority.

Written by Andrew Pino

Like this post? If so, sign up for the free LiveIntentional newsletter.

Help Your Wife Win

Husbands (especially newer ones), I have a great tip for you:

On Sundays, at whatever time works for you, take some time & help your wife “win” in the coming week. Though she may also work a 9-5, your home is her favorite place & the place she desires to have in order. So, empty the sink, dishwasher, dryer, etc. Pick up around the house. Make the beds. Basically, make the house look like she would like it!

*Extra Credit: Cook Sunday dinner. Come on, who can’t at least fire up the grill.

I am telling you…it will lead to an empowered wife that will be grateful & honored by your sacrifice of some couch time to help her jump start the week.

And, no, my wife did not steal my login to write this!

Written by Andrew Pino

Like this post? If so, sign up for the free LiveIntentional newsletter.