If you’re anything like me, God often uses music to communicate something I need to hear or need help putting words to in my own life. Today was one of those times. As I drove into work, I listened to this song for the first time: https://youtu.be/4oaRYLEIeis
I immediately downloaded it and began playing it on loop for the 45 minute drive. I’m not ashamed to tell you that tears filled my eyes as I listened to the lyrics so beautifully describe the desire of my heart, but so often not the actions/words I live out.
If you have a couple minutes, I encourage you to listen to this song. Really listen to the lyrics. I know it can help you recenter on Christ, like it did for me this morning.
To Lauren (Lauren Daigle):
Thank you for your sincerity in these lyrics and your heartfelt delivery of them!
I’ve been thinking about my Dad a lot lately. It’s been 5.5 years since he passed away from cancer, but that wasn’t the first disease he/we battled with in his life. The realization came to me the other day that he was my age when he was hit with Multiple Sclerosis. As a kid, I watched my Dad go from a guy I could kick a soccer ball with, to a hospital bed for 3 months, only to come out in a wheelchair for many years to come. In that time, they also determined he had diabetes that would require injections multiple times a day indefinitely.
My Dad was never accused of being “healthy” in any form. He did drugs for years, ate too much, didn’t exercise, was angry and yelled a lot. Too many things to pass off as just “being Italian.” Even so, being a child watching him have mobility, energy, dignity stripped from him, was heartbreaking. I had to be “the man of the house”. My Mom and I had to do everything. I mean how many kids are lifting their Dad in and out of bed, or the bathtub, or the toilet? How many are loading wheelchairs into the car, check the oil in the engine and air in the tires, etc? How many go from a fairly normal income to below the poverty line because their Dad no longer works and Mom can’t because she’d had to become his nurse? I don’t say this as a sob story, it’s just my childhood story.
Ah, New Years. It’s that lovely time of year where well intentioned resolutions, die a slow (or truthfully, fast) death as life rolls on. Can you relate?
I wish I could tell you that as I look back over the many years, I see nothing but completed objectives and fulfilled dreams. I wish I could say that every time I set my mind to it, I was able to change this habit or that behavior. Unfortunately, I know all too well the regret of leaving something incomplete.
What starts as a truly motivating desire to see improvement in a relationship, a project, a personal goal…ends in a “oh well, maybe next year” or worse “I wish I had stuck with it“.
Have I depressed you? I think I just depressed myself!