Why is it that so many women swoon over the guys in romantic movies? Is it their dashingly handsome good looks? Their ability to “rescue” the one they love? Their charming sense of humor? The argument could be made that yes, all of those things draw a woman into the story unfolding on the screen and endear them to the male lead character. However, what seems to be the fundamental component to every well loved leading man, is the amount of focus, time, and energy he puts into his on-screen counterpart. There’s something in the way he looks at her, the things he breaks away from to be with her, the lengths he’ll go to just to make sure she is the center of his attention.
So, why does this make a woman smile, cry, laugh at the movie? Because she wants that kind of relationship.
If we’re honest guys, we often hate those movies because they point out some serious flaws in how we relate to our wives (or girlfriends). So many times we have lost focus on what’s going on in the life of our wife. We’ve invested our energies at work, in sports, or whatever other hobby, instead of giving priority to serving our wife and showing her she matters to us. Even time invested in your kids can start to take precedence over spending quality time with your wife.
Like anything you want to see grow, flourish, etc you have to invest your energy into it. You are one of the key contributors to your wife being happy and feeling loved in life. No, she doesn’t need to be codependent on you, but she will certainly define the quality of your relationship by the amount of time, focus, and energy you invest in it.
If this post is challenging you to stop and think about what you can do to reengage your wife, here are a few tips to get her swooning over you:
- Ask her how her day was and really listen to the answer.
- Clean up around the house.
- Do laundry. Not just washer/dryer, but folding and putting it away too.
- Take her to dinner. Whatever is in your budget to do. She’s more interested in the time and conversation.
- Go for a walk together.
- If you have kids, tell her to go out with her girlfriends and you keep them.
- Sit on the couch and talk to her, not the sports game on TV.
- Share your life with her. How work is going, what you’ve been thinking about lately, etc.
Sure, this is no exhaustive list, but it’s a start.
We all want to be the leading man in our life. We want our wife to look at us and think, “yes, I made the best decision marrying him. He genuinely cares about me and for me.” Stepping up and giving your time, energy, and focus to your wife will communicate your love and make it clear that she is your top priority.
Written by Andrew Pino
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