I’ve been thinking about my Dad a lot lately. It’s been 5.5 years since he passed away from cancer, but that wasn’t the first disease he/we battled with in his life. The realization came to me the other day that he was my age when he was hit with Multiple Sclerosis. As a kid, I watched my Dad go from a guy I could kick a soccer ball with, to a hospital bed for 3 months, only to come out in a wheelchair for many years to come. In that time, they also determined he had diabetes that would require injections multiple times a day indefinitely.
My Dad was never accused of being “healthy” in any form. He did drugs for years, ate too much, didn’t exercise, was angry and yelled a lot. Too many things to pass off as just “being Italian.” Even so, being a child watching him have mobility, energy, dignity stripped from him, was heartbreaking. I had to be “the man of the house”. My Mom and I had to do everything. I mean how many kids are lifting their Dad in and out of bed, or the bathtub, or the toilet? How many are loading wheelchairs into the car, check the oil in the engine and air in the tires, etc? How many go from a fairly normal income to below the poverty line because their Dad no longer works and Mom can’t because she’d had to become his nurse? I don’t say this as a sob story, it’s just my childhood story.
If you’re looking to be the best leader possible, this list of 6 leadership traits is a great place to start.
- Create a climate of reciprocal trust. Innovation often requires some level of risk. Not all innovative ideas are successful. Highly innovative leaders initiate warm, collaborative relationships with the innovators who work for them. They make themselves highly accessible. Colleagues know that their leader will cover their backs and not throw them under the bus if something goes wrong.
“I am NOT wearing jeans! I’m never wearing pants, EVER,” she screams as she collapses onto the floor in an absolute fit. <insert disciplinary action> Dresses only, thank you very much, for both of my girls right around the 3-4 year old mark. And while I don’t mind them wearing dresses a majority of the time, it’s not practical for the everyday…at least not our everyday. Pants and jeans were purchased for a reason and we are going to wear all of the clothes that we have with a grateful attitude, I explain for the 42nd time. She lets out a scream as I say this and collapses onto the floor again, mad as can be. <insert 2nd disciplinary action> After this scene is repeated another time (oh yes she did!), I got smarter. “Sweetheart, because you chose to continue throwing fits, being disrespectful and having an ungrateful attitude about your clothes, you have now lost your dresses, nightgowns and dress up clothes through Sunday.” <insert wailing and gnashing of teeth and a profuse amount of “I’ll never do that again.”> She, of course, did lose her “dress privileges,” but, an amazing thing happened…she stopped fighting me about the pants. It’s a small win, but I’ll take it!
I know some of you may read that title and think “I want to be both” and while that concept is good in theory, it’s often poorly executed and leads to kids with issues.
We are called to be Fathers and lead our children in a way that glorifies God, our Heavenly Father. To model that, takes far more discipline then most of us guys want to exert. We’d rather just leave it to our wives to be “the mean parent” and we’ll be the hero, the cool parent, the fun one.
When we aim for “being a friend”, we miss the target God set before us altogether. It’s through you that your kids will learn discipline, patience, anger management, integrity, character, etc. (Moms don’t get upset, they learn this stuff from you too, but Dads/Husbands are called to lead their homes) Continue reading
You know the moms with the planners; the crazy organized, perfectly scheduled kind? They absolutely amaze and intrigue me! I, unfortunately, didn’t get that gene, but I’m finding more and more that I need one! See, I could get away with my disorganized chaos so much better when I was younger, before I was married; before I had kids. It was just my sanity it affected. Now, with the husband and three small kids, I’m having to rethink how I go about my day; how my choices effect them.
There’s so many things I want to do, to be a part of, but most of the time I can’t figure out how to fit one more thing in or the thought of one more thing just overwhelms me. Now, I agree that many times our lives our filled with business and chaos that we just don’t need, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about just finding time for the things that mean something to you; the things you’re passionate about or that you feel called to do at this moment in time, but are struggling to make room for. I feel like many of my weeks are spent running around from chore to chore, errand to errand, putting out fires ALL OVER THE PLACE, doing multiple things at once and forgetting what I was doing to begin with and rarely sitting down until after the kids are in bed. Anyone? Anyone? Well then, lie to me – tell me you’ve done this too and I’m not alone! Continue reading