As many of you know, Amy & I have the perfect marriage. It has always been rainbows and alive with the light of a million fairies. YEAH RIGHT!
No, the truth is we’ve had a 14+ year marriage that has been all over the map. Figuratively and literally, haha. We have experienced many joys, but we have also experienced (and sometimes created) many heartbreaking, trust eroding, emotion shattering moments as well. In the midst of the highs and lows, we’ve known one thing to be true: God must be the center of our marriage. That sounds like a trite “Christianese” phrase but it is very true. If we don’t allow Him entrance into every part of us individually and as a couple, we will never walk in the freedom and calling He has for us. At least not to its fullest.
Why is it that so many women swoon over the guys in romantic movies? Is it their dashingly handsome good looks? Their ability to “rescue” the one they love? Their charming sense of humor? The argument could be made that yes, all of those things draw a woman into the story unfolding on the screen and endear them to the male lead character. However, what seems to be the fundamental component to every well loved leading man, is the amount of focus, time, and energy he puts into his on-screen counterpart. There’s something in the way he looks at her, the things he breaks away from to be with her, the lengths he’ll go to just to make sure she is the center of his attention.
So, why does this make a woman smile, cry, laugh at the movie? Because she wants that kind of relationship.
Patience…just writing that word makes me feel guilty. I am the consummate “do as I say, not as I do” person, when it comes to patience. I can’t think of a time in my life, where patience wasn’t a battle for me.
This struggle wasn’t birthed out of being a spoiled brat, who got everything he wanted growing up. It isn’t spurred on by other people at all. Impatience simply seems to be part of my DNA. That’s not a copout. I’m not off the hook. I just realize that I have an addiction for getting things done and want everyone around me to be the same way.
There are pros and cons to this dilemma…
You know the moms with the planners; the crazy organized, perfectly scheduled kind? They absolutely amaze and intrigue me! I, unfortunately, didn’t get that gene, but I’m finding more and more that I need one! See, I could get away with my disorganized chaos so much better when I was younger, before I was married; before I had kids. It was just my sanity it affected. Now, with the husband and three small kids, I’m having to rethink how I go about my day; how my choices effect them.
There’s so many things I want to do, to be a part of, but most of the time I can’t figure out how to fit one more thing in or the thought of one more thing just overwhelms me. Now, I agree that many times our lives our filled with business and chaos that we just don’t need, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about just finding time for the things that mean something to you; the things you’re passionate about or that you feel called to do at this moment in time, but are struggling to make room for. I feel like many of my weeks are spent running around from chore to chore, errand to errand, putting out fires ALL OVER THE PLACE, doing multiple things at once and forgetting what I was doing to begin with and rarely sitting down until after the kids are in bed. Anyone? Anyone? Well then, lie to me – tell me you’ve done this too and I’m not alone! Continue reading
Husbands (especially newer ones), I have a great tip for you:
On Sundays, at whatever time works for you, take some time & help your wife “win” in the coming week. Though she may also work a 9-5, your home is her favorite place & the place she desires to have in order. So, empty the sink, dishwasher, dryer, etc. Pick up around the house. Make the beds. Basically, make the house look like she would like it!
*Extra Credit: Cook Sunday dinner. Come on, who can’t at least fire up the grill.